Talk Quieter
I talk loud. I’ve known this for some time. It became more evident in the thick of the pandemic when my family was scattered across our house in various classroom, work and social Zooms.
About 6 months into remote living, my then 14 year old reached a breaking point. Not only was the volume of my conversations wearing on them, the inability to escape my interactions intruded on their peace. It wasn’t enough to get away from me physically. They needed to get away from me audibly. They needed a break from my thoughts, interactions and experiences.
We had a discussion that involved them taking a turn at being loud — though decidedly less cheerful than my typical demeanor. As they shouted their grievances, I processed my own reaction to the assault of sound. Like them, I wanted it to end. I wanted to escape. I wanted to find a hidden dial to quiet their output so I could hear what was relevant to me and ignore the rest. There was no escape. There was no dial. Eventually there was an end, thankfully.
As a result of the feedback, I agreed to place a note in my line of sight on my desk to remind me to talk quieter. It worked well. Without the visual reminder I wouldn’t be making progress toward my commitment to preserve the peace of others. When I catch myself speaking in a Zoom as if I’m informing the neighbors three houses down, I lower my voice, mention my sign and encourage the recipient of my words to tell me when they are inclined to turn down their speaker volume. Not only am I relying on my note to reset my output, I’m recruiting others to the cause. In addition to benefiting from the extra help, I suspect my 14 year old wasn’t the only one suffering from the onslaught.
Perhaps it’s because my little sign is staring back at me whenever I’m seated at my desk, but I think about the importance of lowering our volume often. So many people are yelling. It’s exhausting and it overruns shared spaces, whether physical or digital. What I learned from my 14 year old is that, after a while, it doesn’t matter if the loud is a result of enthusiasm or anger. In the end, it’s just loud and a growing number of people will seek an escape.
