Turning Negatives Into Positives
“Wow!!!”
“This is the most beautiful, encouraging post I have seen in a long time! Thank you.”
These are two of the comments — accompanied by numerous likes, loves and similar affections — under a simple reply I logged to a discussion in a Facebook group I belong to for local women. A fellow member asked for advice on how to find a new job when she just has a high school diploma.
The former headhunter in me, who has never let go of a love for talking career strategy, couldn’t resist weighing in on the question. In a matter of seconds my fingers effortlessly beat out a recommendation I’ve offered countless times. To me, the advice was relatively ordinary. To some who read the words, the advice was extraordinary.
I’ll share what I wrote at the end of this post in the event someone reading along is engaged in a job search and not feeling confident they offer enough to compete. First, I’d like to share the irony of moment.
The day I offered my ordinary advice, I was facing a significant challenge. Emotionally, I’d hit a wall. Though my circumstances were good considering the gravity of current realities for many, my mental health was suffering. The totality of the devastation around me and my inability to do anything meaningful to counter the assault friends, acquaintances and community members were enduring were fueling a restlessness and anger that I couldn’t find a way to resolve. If I’m being honest, resolution wasn’t really the goal. I was scrolling through my social media for the umpteenth time looking for more things to get mad about. Not good. The festering anger was costing me mentally and threatening to give a chronic illness in remission a chance to get the upper hand.
Stumbling upon this stranger’s post was the disruption I didn’t know I needed from unproductive frustration. Just being me, I helped someone — perhaps several someones — by sharing knowledge with an individual who had yet to learn. I didn’t rid America of the novel coronavirus, but I made a positive contribution at a local level to a stressful situation.
Back to the advice I shared in that fateful reply and one more layer of irony. You’ll notice I’ve bolded the word just in two instances above. Do you see the connection? My fellow group member and I had something in common. Without realizing it, the moment I happened upon the discussion I was certain I just didn’t have enough (power, energy, influence, resources) to make the world better. The very attitude holding her back that I challenged through my reply was dominating my own thoughts. It was a pretty negative outlook. Turns out, in the right situations, who we are and what we offer are just enough. I’m positive.
Now for the post. If it helps someone, I’m glad.
“We are all so much more than our credentialed education. You have a high school diploma and (insert skills) and (insert talents) and (insert connections) and (insert perspective) and (insert performance qualities)…this list goes on. What do you love to do? What fits with your life right now? What types of things do people recognize as strengths and compliment you on? If you aren’t sure what fits, I recommend people start with what doesn’t fit. The human condition makes pointing out the negative easier for some reason. Make a list of the no-go’s and then think about what the opposite would be. For example, “can’t work later than 8 p.m., can’t stand on my feet all day, can’t be longer than a 30 minute commute” becomes “available for opportunities with daytime needs between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. that offer the opportunity for seated and standing functions and are within a 30 minute commute.” That’s a generic example, but you get the idea. If you know you don’t have computer skills, then you are looking for an opportunity that values interpersonal skills and hands on functions. See what I mean? Build a vision of what the foundation of the opportunities you’d be a fit for looks like so you can help people see what you are looking for so their ideas and referrals are helpful.”
